Saturday, 31 July 2010

Retro Prefect in: Capcoms non stop coin-op…post op


Capcom headquarters annual meeting (1989)

Madelyn Von Geargang (Chickens under barrels division): News just in folks, Final Fight just hit the arcades and it’s a big hit, pun intended!

Roland Toe (Supervisor of giant hooks): Even though it clearly steals everything from Double Dragon except for the inclusion of a shemale accompanying a lumbering retard?

Madelyn Von Geargang: The shemale rumours are unconfirmed, and besides…people steal our ideas all the time!

Gordon Axe 2 (Senior Gilius Thunderhead): If I change Cody to Axel, no one will ever know!

Madelyn Von Geargang: In light of this revived interest in the scrolling beat em up/ street em up/ beat em street/ breet em strup…I think we should look into it further, any ideas?

Harry Gar (Former mayor and pipe user): How about we reuse the same game engine on several established franchises over the course of the early to mid 90’s?

Madelyn Von Geargang: Give that man a pipe!

Roland Toe: But my area is small rotating sticks…

Madelyn Von Geargang: I said give that man a pipe!

Anyone who ventured the arcades, or took to illegal emulation several years after their decline will remember that the 90’s was the age of the scrolling beat em up, a game which due to the necessity of 3-D in anything new has effectively marked its demise. Over the course of several years, Capcom was able to gain the rights to a number of popular franchises and somehow shoehorn a lift stage and pipes as weapons into them all.

Over the course of this month, I shall be unleashing several smaller Beat em up reviews as a means of writing less, but making it look like I’m doing far more. It may one day reach the point were I start using bullet points



  • Comic effect!

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