#2 The Peahat
Today is a very important day, today is the day you take those first tentative steps outside the comfort of your village and into the world of Hyrule. Opportunity awaits you at every turn, there will be ups and downs, adventure and intrigue; giant pineapples drifting menacingly behind you. Perhaps Nintendo's family friendly image comes from a vested attempt by the developers to inflict sheer terror among several generations, Grandmother hasn't been near a fruit salad since (Her views on tomatoes however are somewhat mixed). Ocarina of time seems to throw a lot of disturbing images at the player throughout, when the elf-child protagonist isn't being molested by the shriveled undead; he is being mentally undressed by a blatant paedophile who offers masks as way of keeping his victims quiet. Its greatest horrors however, emerge once the Peahat is innocently stumbled upon. Quickly turning what was once a leisurely stroll across the Hyrule plains into a game of "Avoid the floating pineapple", feel free to turn this expression into a euphemism so long as said erotic act doesn't actually involve the Peahat.(I hear they can be rough lovers) Perhaps the fear derives from the paranoid notion that fruit and vegetables will eventually enact revenge on society for years of abuse, either that or the mysterious disappearance of both my parents at about the same time a large orange bulb began to grow in the back garden.
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