Perfect Weapon

If there was ever a game which deserved the word 'perfect' within the title, Perfect Weapon would be last in a disorderly and disheveled fighting game queue; desperatley trying to cut inbetween Pit Fighter and World Heroes, as Mortal Kombat laughs from its unjust VIP queue position. In a unique twist by unaptly named developers 'Gray Matter' (whos only other title appears to be Body Hazard, a game which the internet has denied the existence of) they have forgone the dissapointment associated with misleading box art, instead plastering in game footage on the front cover that promises men in figure hugging leather being ambushed by blocky lizardmen.

I was first introudced to this fighting debarcle by PC format magazine and it's much coveted front cover demo disk. In the days of terrible internet, when illegally downloading Snes Roms took three hours; the idea that a demo could access games in half the time it took to actually complete them was something of a refreshing change. I feel that Perfect Weapon is definitely suited to the PC keyboard controls , in so much as whatever method of control you use, the game will innevitably still remain a clunky mess. Fans of Resident Evil will understand that the rotating antics of Chris Redfield should only be assigned to the confines of a darkened corridor, and not against the terrestrial polygon hordes of planets which feature a single environmental characteristic. The first level sees you in planet cliche mainstay, ice planet. I was sorely dissapointed by this as the demo planted you instantly in second planetary cliche "Desert" planet. Desert planet seemed like an exiting prospect back in the day, and it is what lead me to ultimatley buy the game 10 years later on the PS1, desert planet has a lot to answer for...

The first thing you may notice is that the fighting system is incedibly ineffectual against most enemies, any antagonist less than a meter tall is impossible to fight due to the impractical nature of the crouching kick. The aforementioned kick requires unprecedented precision made all the more difficult by A: All the rotating you will have to do to constantly re-align with these enemies. B: Short stature enemies don't take kindly to the condescension implied by a squatting, rotating giant. For a Perfect Weapon, the main character is certainly the least worthy candidate of his title, having been forcibly kidnapped and left to die on an icy planet at the cold paws of knee high dogs; he is essentially nothing short of a useless weapon.

I can't say I've played this game for more than an hour since purchasing it, in fact I've probably played this less than the aforementioned demo. But this tells us less about my lack of conviction when it comes to journalistic impartiality, and more about the fact that a game costing £2 from a car boot sale is so unplayable that it's unworthy of a time investment beyond 60 minutes. Perfect Weapon remains within my PS1 collection as a worthless reminder to everyone that a title isn't everything, and the game itself is even less...